


And Unto You, My Unborn Child

by CityEscape4



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-16 18:41:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16500680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CityEscape4/pseuds/CityEscape4
Summary: A past life AU where Durbe dies protecting Iris during Vector and Nasch’s shadow game. Nasch comes across Durbe’s journal, where he finds out his late friend was writing to – what Nasch presumed was – his hypothetical future child.





	And Unto You, My Unborn Child

**Author's Note:**

> this is complete self indulgence, im so sorry

A grave for him was Iris's idea. Had she not been there, Nasch might have just left the scene and not looked back. It was too painful of a truth to face. 

Nasch watched as Iris placed small white flowers that she gathered from the forest on the grave they'd just buried Durbe in. Upon leaving the building where he and Vector had their Shadow Duel, Nasch was met with all the death his and Vector's encounter had wrought, and eventually came across Iris, crying over the body of Durbe, who was pierced with multiple arrows. She was convinced that his death was all her fault, that he only got hurt because he ran to protect her from a hail of arrows, but after many moments of crying and remorse, Nasch managed to dissuade her from such a thought.

Mach managed to make it out of the battle with no more than some scratches, and had been standing protectively around Iris and Durbe's body when Nasch had found them. Whether the pegasus stayed out of protection for Iris or loyalty towards Durbe and his body, Nasch would never know, just as he didn't know why Mach was still _here._ Durbe had once said that Mach was the most loyal creature he'd ever known. Durbe wasn't here any longer, so what was keeping Mach here?

A small hand in his pulled him out of his thoughts, Iris having held his hand and begun speaking words to Durbe that the knight would never hear, including her thanks and her apologies. But to Nasch, it was all a buzz, a numb muted sound that didn't quite register in his head. Durbe was really _gone._ First Merag, now him? If he'd lost Iris, truly, Nasch would worry for his sanity.

A nudge at his back made him jolt in surprise, Nasch turning his head to see Mach gently butting him with his snout. 

"Ou-sama?"

Nasch looked down to Iris then, suddenly very aware of the tears that had been welling in his eyes. "I--" He swallowed hard, inhaling deeply and looking up at the sky in an attempt to prevent the tears from flowing. "Forgive me, Iris. I'm not..." A shuddering breath left him as he shook his head, a shiver shuddering down his spine.

Iris squeezed his hand, looking back at the freshly dug mound of dirt before them. "I'm sorry, Ou-sama. I shouldn't have asked you to help me dig for him..."

"No, Iris, you're fine." He didn't look at her as he spoke, instead using his free hand to rub at his eyes. "Today's just been a difficult day." _Difficult_ was the biggest understatement, and they both knew that. But he didn't know what else to say. He'd never been that great with children, that'd all been Durbe. Hell, he was surprised that Iris had taken as much of a liking to him as she did when they first found her.

He heard her sniffle, as well as her voice quiver. "What do we do now?"

 _We wait to wake up from this nightmare_ was the immediate thing that came to mind, but Nasch shook the thought from his head and exhaled. "I take you back to my kingdom. Then, I go back after Vector by myself."

* * *

Iris had been no stranger to riding on Mach, as she'd been privy to switch between riding with Durbe or Nasch since they'd found her. Nasch on the other hand, had ridden on Mach all of once before, when curiosity had gotten the better of him and he asked Durbe to take him on a ride in the skies when they were somewhat younger. That had been the last time Nasch had ever rode Mach; At least, up until now.

Not too eager to take to the skies, they rode on Mach on the ground till the sun grew low, and the temperature began to drop with it. Not wanting to ride too late into the night, Nasch made the move to set up a makeshift camp. It wasn't long before he, Iris, and Mach were warmed by a fire, Nasch and Iris's bellies full thanks to a rabbit Nasch managed to catch, and thanks to a satchel Iris had pulled off of Mach, the young girl was further warmed by Durbe's blanket, which had been placed inside along with a few of Durbe's other personal belongings.

Iris slept soundly, her head resting on Nasch's lap; Whereas Nasch was sitting up, his back up against a tree as he sat in silence, keeping an eye out for anything unsavory. Mach too was awake, grazing on some grass nearby before walking over, looking at Nasch before using a hoof to dig at the ground by Durbe's satchel.

Nasch arched a brow, hushedly asking, "What's wrong, Mach?"

It was then that Mach leaned down, nudging the satchel towards the young king. A book bound in leather with the Royal Emblem of Poseidon embroidered onto the front slid out of the satchel somewhat, catching Nasch’s eye. The young king gave Mach a confused look, before leaning over and grabbing the book, opening it up to the first page. The pages were still smooth and crisp, no wear on the edges visible anywhere – obviously a new book. The ink on the pages was familiar though, or more specifically, the style of the writing on the pages was; the scrawl was something he’d seen dozens of times whenever he and Durbe wrote to one another whenever his late friend returned to the kingdom he was knighted in. “This is Durbe’s handwriting…” Nasch murmured as he began to read.

_It is better to trust and regret it, than to distrust and regret it. I’d rather be hurt by someone I’d trusted than know that I didn’t trust someone, and they were hurt by me because of it. That’s something I’ve always lived by. Such thinking hasn’t betrayed me yet._

_It’s a sentiment I wish to pass onto you. No matter how bleak things may seem, how alone you might find yourself feeling, I want you to always have it in your heart to trust in people. I feel the minute one loses the ability to do that, they’ve begun to truly isolate themselves from the world around them._

_I never knew my parents. I doubt I ever will. My earliest memories all take place in an orphanage. I remember the woman running the place telling me I deserved to have been left there. I felt betrayed. Used. Discarded like trash. I recoiled from each of the few people in my young childhood who showed me even the slightest bit of affection. I figured that if my own parents didn’t want anything to do with me, why would anyone else? Eventually I ran away from that orphange, and soon found myself spending lots of time in the forest that surrounded the village._

_It was there I met Mach, the first individual that I’d ever truly trusted. Something I still can't explain to this day drew me to him, and I'd like to think the same happened to him with me. He stayed with me through everything I went through after that, including training for knighthood at a kingdom far from the United Kingdom of Poseidon. Maybe by the time you’re old enough to read this, Mach is no longer around. I have no clue how long the lifespan of a Pegasus is. Mach has been with me through everything up to this point in my life. I hope, that whenever you are born, that you will be able to meet him._

_Without him, I wouldn't be where I am now, sitting in a castle in a kingdom more beautiful and prosperous than I have any right to be in, surrounded by those who love me, and who I love in return._

__

_I don’t consider myself wise. I do, however, want to pass on whatever knowledge I have to you, whatever stories I might never get the chance to share. I write this in both the fear and safety that, should I die before you’re able to make any lasting memories of me, that I leave bits of my myself behind for you to have, that you can gauge your opinion on my not simply from whatever your mother says about me, but also from my own written word. And so, I present myself to this book._

_And unto you, my unborn child._

Nasch closed the journal then, frowning confusedly. Durbe was writing to his hypothetical child, in a journal embroidered with the royal emblem? Where did he even get something like this? _Why_ was even writing such a thing in this? What was the meaning behind it? In revealing this journal to him, Mach had given the young king more questions than answers.

Curious, Nasch quickly flipped through the journal, only to see there was much of the journal left blank, Durbe having only written a handful of entries. Looking up into the night sky, Nasch noted how late it already was, and as much as he wanted to keep reading, he knew he needed to rest soon, to stay alert when they rode in the morning - if not for his own sake, but for Iris's. So with that in mind, Nasch intended to read on tomorrow night, but something in his mind convinced him to _at least_ read the first lines in each entry.

_If you ever strive for knighthood, I hope to be there to help you train. If something pulls me from your side, be it duty or death, I hope I would have least left you something to help you._

_I've lived in many places before settling down in Poseidon, from mountains to plains and even once traveled through a desert, but never in my life have I found some place I enjoy more than the beaches of Poseidon._

_I wonder if you've acquired my penchant for reading. Regardless, I sincerely hope my words do not bore you._

_You died today. You and your mother._

Nasch’s breath hitched at that, an uncomfortable feeling building up in his throat. This child had been real? Durbe was going to be a father? As Nasch continued to read, he struggled with the next paragraph, noticing the ink began to blur and splotch somewhat abnormally more and more as the paragraph went on.

_In a move bolder than I would have ever thought he’d pull off, Vector attacked the kingdom head on, and we suffered many losses, including Merag and you. Nasch said she was supposed to be in the castle, that she was helping tend to the wounded, but somehow, something had driven her to make the choice to sacrifice herself to their god: Abyss. I watched from the air as she plunged into the ocean, and I—_

The writing in that paragraph stopped there. Nasch took the moment to close Durbe’s journal somewhat, heavily exhaling a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Durbe and Merag… He’d known Merag had grown feelings for Durbe, but he’d never know that her feelings had been reciprocated, or that they’d acted in such a way on them. Merag had been _pregnant_. Why had they hid this from him?! Did they think he’d disapprove of the relationship? He wished that at least one of them was still here, so he could talk to them, ask them himself. 

After taking some time to let that one paragraph of text sink in - Holy hell, he would have been an uncle for Abyss’s sake! There would have been a mini-Durbe or Merag dawdling about the castle in a year and a half's time! -, Nasch opened the journal yet again and continued reading the entry. Judging from the change in stability in writing, as well as the lack of dried teardrops, Nasch could only assume Durbe had stopped writing momentarily to regain himself.

_I’ve always been afraid of losing her. Her and Nasch both. And when she’d first told me she was pregnant, after the initial shock and subsequent joy had worn off, I realized I was more terrified about something happening to her – and now you – more than ever._

_We never told Nasch. Not because we didn’t want him to know, but because at the time, before we knew how direct Vector was going to be, we figured we would wait until Vector was taken care of, until after any thoughts of there being war had left the minds of the royal council. Merag had said it would be to keep his mind off of worrying about her – which I admit, he would absolutely do – but I knew it was because she didn’t want the council to treat her like she was some delicate glass statuette. They always had a tendency of overreacting to the point of annoying either her or your uncle._

_Or in severe cases, both. You should have seen the way Nasch argued with the head of the counsel after he’d officially declared me as his personal knight. Your mother made a comment that I’d rather not repeat, even on paper, and when the head of the counsel told her to mind her place, both she and Nasch let him have it._

_And rightly so. He was dismissed shortly after that meeting._

_But now, as I watch him grieve for the loss of his dear twin sister, I can’t help but silently grieve for the loss of two lives. Hers, and yours. He refused to leave her casket. I stayed with him until he passed out at her side, and then carried him to his bed. On my way to my room, one of the priestesses stopped me. Apparently she had been assisting the healer the day Merag found out she was pregnant, and was the only other person aside from myself, Merag, and the healer that knew about you. She asked if Nasch knew, and after I’d admitted that he didn’t, she hugged me as best she could. It took everything I had to not cry then and there._

_I won’t tell him. Not yet. He plans to march after Vector, to avenge Merag. Telling him about you would only add to this… this harmful vengeance I see in his eyes. I too want to avenge your mother, and naturally you as well, but there’s something I see in his eyes… something that makes me feel as though I should be mourning not just Merag and you, my child… but also the Nasch of yesterday._

It was as he read the final lines of Durbe's last entry that Nasch finally allowed himself to cry, to let out all his emotions like he did the day Merag died.

_After this is all over, I’ll tell him. Merag would have my head if he never knew. I can’t say how he’ll react; this war might change him for the worst for all I know, and knowing that Vector took yet another life that would have hopefully been dear to him might break him. But I will tell him. Just not now._

_For now, I must head to bed. Nasch mentioned rallying the army as early as possible, and I won’t allow myself to stay up all night writing to a child who will never read what I’d intended on leaving for them._

_Goodnight, and goodbye, my unborn child._


End file.
